Don't blame them, thank them

I turned on the TV this morning and saw on the news that Kate Gosselin got "voted off" Dancing with the Stars. I never watched this show, but caught bits and pieces of the horrific John and Kate Plus 8, but am familiar with both. (I actually did watch Kelly Osborne try to dance to "Crazy Train" by Ozzy. It was too damn funny to pass up).

My wife liked John and Kate Plus 8, and I would always yell "Turn the channel.... this is BAD!". I was never okay with the family being the center point of a reality show. I also could not stand the other shows with that same format "Let's see how many kids we can have and profit off of it".

So every time I see Kate intereviewed, she always says "My family is the #1 priority in my life" (I am paraphasing). I saw her say it this morning. She even insinuated that her poor performance was a result of her unbridled passion for her family (Kids).

She did the same thing when people questioned the health of having a show with cameras constantly on her kids (without their consent). She did the same thing in an interview with her husband right as they were splitting. It is like if she just said "I do it for the kids" enough, everybody will give her a free pass.

So this interview this morning just ticked me off to no end. Hey lady.... Go on that stupid show, or don't...... But don't blame your kids for your poor performance!

Whenever politicians say "vote children first ", I usually assume they are more detrimental to the family than they are benenficial. When famous people go out of their way to tell us how much they love their kids, I become suspicious.

How many people do you know who say "I hate my family. I hate my kids."?

Every six months or so I run into a guy I know. A runner. A good runner. A marathoner. Pretty fast. I usually congratulate him on his recent performance. WITHOUT FAIL he says something like "Yeah, but I could do better. I have a family and kids" (I think he has 2). I bite my tongue, but want to say "Maybe we should subtract 5-10 minutes per kid off your time for your hardship"

A few months ago I read an article about a female Crossfitter who was training for the "Crossfit Games". She would come home from work some days and go straight to her workout, putting off family time for an hour. In the comments section of this article, some guy went off on her saying how she was a bad parent and should not be doing this. This guys said something like "I used to do traithlons, but realized I will never get that time back with my family, pushing the kids on the swing". I wish I could remember what he said, but he had no idea of this families' commitment and lifestyle. He looked at one action and concluded she was a bad mom. Some friends of this woman chimed in on the comments and put this guy in his place. I actually felt bad for this guy because I felt he wanted to be out competing, but can't. So he uses the self righteous "family card" to make himself feel good.

One thing I will never do is blame my family for my poor performance. I want my kids to witness how I handle success and how I handle failure. Yes, failure. You can spin words anyway you want, but kids understand failure. I want them to see that when you get knocked down, the good man gets back up and keeps going. He learns from his mistakes. He doesn't piss and moan. He doesn't make excuses. He accepts it, and moves on.

The last thing I want them to see is "My dad performed poorly because of us". or "My dad resents us because we prevent him from doing x, y, z". My family actually laughed at the fact of my last 2 DNFs. I can take it. I think that is a healthy response from them. I thanked them for their support. My wife actually wants them to crew for me soon. (ahhh... dear, you kind of need to have a drivers license).

The challenge of being a husband, a dad, a sales manager, etc., is finding a way to perform with all of this in the equation. Everybody has their own baggage. I am not going to speculate who's bagge is heavier than the next. But we get out there anyway and face the music.

Ironically, as some criticize me for "Spending all of time away from my family doing races" (three to be exact in the first 6 months of the year), I also hear about husbands I know who don't do jack squat around the house. And.... are not involved in their kid's lives.

I guess the right thing to do is sit around all weekend on the couch drinking beer, watching sports.