Ice Age 50 Report.......?

So here is the scene.... Mile 37.... outbountd.... I walk... (okay, stumble) into the aid station. I see Wayne Nelson. I say "Wayne, you're driving me back to the start finish". Wayne's response "in an hour or 2, I am having fun watching and helping". Darn. Then I see see Brad Birkholz. After a short conversation, Brad says "I am dring YOU back to the start finish" Jim Stocco joined us, which was a blessing. I was gone. By gone, I mean gone. I already had Marty KC of the LPTR's try and pull me because he thought I was drunk. He abandoned his station at a road crossing to go to the next one because of how I was acting. When I say the orange reflector vest at the top of hill, I knew it was a course official waiting for me. I was a naughty boy. In all seriousness, thanks to Marty. I don't remember the whole interaction, but I remember a mountain biker yelling "you just need to drink some water". If I had any... any energy at all.... that guy would now be a mountain crawler. Thanks Marty. So back to the car with Brad and Jim. I never should have left the prior aid station. But I thought I could walk the rest of the way (apparently you need to drink water even when walking). I lost it. The combination of 3 years of frustration, and things not coming together, I just lost it. Sitting in the car with Brad and Jim saved me. I didn't want to go back to the start finish. I didn't want to go back and have to explain what happened. I didn't want any part of it. Jim Stocco has done 15 Ice Age 50 miles. He was co-founder of the Superior Sawtooth 100. He is a legend in Minnesota in the ultra community. He said "it aint' worth it man (or something like that)" Not even sure what he said, but it made a world of difference. And leaving the parking lot... we saw Mrs. Gnarly Bandit, Lynn Saari. A quick "don't ask" was all I could muster, which was fine because she and Brad argued on how to get back to the start. (She was right). ********************* Long and short of it.... I thought I was having a great day. Made it to mile 20 feeling great. I changed how I drank. Took less electrolytes. Once I started cramping in my legs, I slowly started adding electroylytes (s caps). The Boom! My stomace turned like I had an anvil in it. I slugged for a good 8 miles after. I went from overhydration worries, to dehydration. Problem was, I couldn't drink any water. I know I "could", but I couldn't. 3.5 hours of no water......I was delerious. I didn't matter anyway. I was going so slow, I was going to time out. ********************** I called my mother on Suday to wish her a happy mother's day. I never tell her about these races. She finds out through my wife (I tell her not to say anything, but she does anyway). My Mom asks me about my race and I tell her. Her response is "well, you have more important things anyway. A family who needs you" My mom doesn't get it. I did 2 races last year, probably only 2 this year. I spend less time away from the family than a golfer does. I know what she means. She is my mom. She worries. But I think of all of the deadbeat, overweight, knucklead dads who don't even know their kids. That is not me. I want my kids to see that beaing an athlete is a lifestyle. I want them to see success and failure. I want them to see that life goes on. I may quite a lot, but I step up the plate more often than most. I want them to see that failure is a part of life which you just deal with, learn from, then move on. ********************* So the best part of blogging is telling the story of achieving goals. Blogging sucks when you have to fess up and tell the story of things gone bad. It aint fun anymore, so I have to take time off again. No more races for this year.... at least. There might be a Patten Family aid station at Superior this year though. Thanks to anybody who reads this. I leave you with my favorite verse from the bible. It is the verse which has always helped me through difficult times. "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18